O Allah, Forgive Us

In this post, I'll write in English, because I think it will be easier for me to share everything I feel about my self from the deepest part of my heart.

If you don't like the way I wrote this post, then you don't have to read, even care about this post.

Last night, I woke up at midnight. Suddenly, I was scared, I was afraid. Seems like I have been slapped for thousands, even millions times. I cried so hard.

Am I that bad?
Allah is always loving me, and yet.. I've forget Him for many times..
The Prophet have told me the truth, and yet.. I've denied it for many times..
I have made so many mistakes, and yet.. I still don't realize, how fool I am..
I have so many sins, and yet.. I still don't realize, how stupid I am..

Up to now.. What have I done for my God, my Prophet, and my Religion?
Whether I deserve to be called as servant of God?
Whether I deserve to be called as people of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)?

I just want to write about my own feeling. How worried and afraid I am. I don't know how long my age will be, and Allah can take my soul anytime, anyway. Yeah, sooner or later, all of us will be died. I'm not afraid of death, I'm more afraid of what comes after.

O Allah, forgive us.. forgive us.. forgive us..
O Allah, bless us.. bless us.. bless us..
O Allah.. forgive us with your blessings and mercies..
O Allah..